Words of the Wise - Advise to young women

Honestly, I wish I had someone to have tole me (warned me, actually) about many things. Everyone's lifestyle is different which means that 'advice' will differ. I find myself to be pretty well-rounded - and would say that I am capable of giving advice to any young woman in need.


Off the top of my head, what advice would I give to a young woman?

Lets see...

First, and foremost, I would have to advise them to follow their hearts. I have found that in life, one has to done what makes them happy. We only live once. Even if that thing that once made you happy, no longer does - that's okay because from that experience one will learn something. In life, the only way to learn something is though making a mistake and falling on your face.

Secondly, GO TO THE GYM! LOL. No, but seriously, I would advise a young woman to find the one thing that can just take them away and do that a couple nights a week to end their night or start their day. For me, it's going to the gym. It is important to have that one thing that makes me feel complete leaving me in a place where I am not worrying about what needs to be paid or completed, how many chapters I have to read or who I have to email and all the other crazy things that go on inside of a college students' head. The good thing for me, it's going to the gym. That's two in one!

Thirdly, WRITE THINGS DOWN! Writing things down will keep one from going insane! Write things down and finding the one thing that takes them away and they are on their way to sanity! When I write things down, it keeps me on track and that way I do not forget about anything that needs to get done. It also helps me better manage my time. Knowing that I have 5 things to do in 2 hours - makes me think like okay, which is more important? what can wait? Stuff like that. Trust me! It helps! I told my roommate to do it, and it really helped her out!

Fourth... lets see... Do not be afraid to fail or look stupid or make a mistake or be challenged. As I have said earlier, those are the moments you will treasure most because you will learn SO much about yourself. You never know what may be the result of the challenge. Something you thought was so hard maybe become a passion, who knows. The only thing you can do is TRY.

Looks like my advice is running short... but, here's a few quick ones.

• Remember, it's your life, live for you. You can't possibly please everyone! You'll go crazy.
• DO NOT SETTLE!!!! If in your heart (advice #1) you believe you can obtain more, go for it! Just because someone tells you you cannot does not that you do not. That would be silly
• Read between the lines. People are not always trustworthy (at least in my life they haven't been) so you have to see what people want you to see and pay attention to detail. For me, this has saved me from a lot of heart ache. All I did was PAY ATTENTION!
• Don't be afraid to say no.

Last and the most importantly - if you do not remember any of the others... ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! At the end of the day, you are all you have.

TJ.

My First Spring Break

When students plan for Spring Break, they think about having a good time probably getting drunk and partying until they cannot party anymore. But me, I spent my Spring Break learning valuable lessons.

Although I spent time with people I care about, most of them (family, not friends) irritated the crap out of me. But, after reflecting without being angry because of a dispute, I realized numerous things:

1. Although people may have your best interest at heart, they do not know what you need. Even though they think do.
2. You cannot ask something of someone when they are not knowledgeable of what you are asking for.
   
3. In the eyes of my parents, I am now an adult and therefore cannot seek their assistance.. whether for support or financially..

Basically, my spring break sucked. No, it didn't. I am lying. I actually had a good time. I spent time with my friends and very special people and went shopping, but it wasn't what most people would think spring break is supposed to be like. Maybe I should have went to Cancun. Sike.

Even though I was HIGHLY upset, I valued what was told to me. At the end of the day, I will be a much stronger individual. Due to the lack of assistance, I will also be better able to take care of myself because I have been on my own for so long.

Although I do not have my "parents," I do have many other people I can depend on. They are the people who keep me together making sure I am okay and alive - for that matter - Everyone needs someone and cannot obviously not make in this tough world alone. The hard part is figuring out who should be in the circle and who should be kicked out. Through this, I also learned what the true meaning of family is. For me, it sucks and even though it sucks, I am STILL so optimistic. I do not understand how or why, but I am glad I am. Family, no matter what - no matter what - is supposed to have your back. It hurts, well not so much any more - but it used to because I do the right thing, all the time. I have also come to find that people who (this may seem insensitive) do not deserve to have always have. I do not deserve to have my parents treat me the way they do. Especially when I have accomplished so much.

It amazes me how I still keep on smiling. I guess that's life.

TJ.

Tamasia J and Leadership

What makes me a productive leader? What can still be improved?

Thinking about this question, it makes me think about when I began to start a step club at Chatham. One of my positive qualities is being able to take an idea, make it a reality and have people excited about it. At the same time, there were many other people who were against starting a step club at Chatham, because they just thought it was not possible. Little did they know, it is not possible because I would be told no, or because people do not want to do it, it is because of conflicting schedules... so HA!

Anyway, this was a challenge for me. As much as I LOVED {not so much anymore, thanks Chatham (just kidding)} stepping, I was excited and passionate about stepping. When a leader is passionate about something, it shows and it makes it easier to inspire a shared vision (see, I pay attention). After being oh-so-very-passionate and patient, the step club was finally approved! Sounds good, right? Well, the hard part began.

There were conflicting schedules, lack of commitment, lack of enthusiasm... just a lack in many areas. What was I to do? KEEP TRYING! I am productive because I kept trying. I made changes to practice dates, practice times, even practice locations just to keep the energy flowing between the steppers and myself.

In short, I am productive because I do not settle for one way. If it does not work, I do not give up. I also am not a dictator. I ask everyone what they want, so they can have some input. I also try to lead with a smile on my face, even though sometimes I do not feel like smiling.

Some things I need to work on -this is what I always say- slowing down when I speak. When I get excited about something, it just comes out WAY TOO FAST! That doesn't really qualify as leadership, but effectively communicating is majorly important. But, so far it has not come in the way. There are moments when I can just tell when the words are going to come out jumbled and I figure out a different way to say it. So, I am working on it!

Thoughts about Madsen

As I am reading the book, the thought that always pop into my head is what exactly does a President of a university do? I am aware that is of the book but it is something bothers me, especially since I attend a university.

On a side note, reading the book and talking about it in class brings it into perspective. When I am reading, I do think about connections with the Presidents and myself, but it's totally different reading it alone then talking about it with other people. Especially because for some reason I do not like the book. I makes good points and may very well be true, but when it comes to leadership, everyone develops differently and therefore learns differently. Everyone also does not share the same experiences, have the same family background and support as these university women. With that, that doesn't mean that anyone else is more or less capable of being a university President.

At the same time, it is very important to think about women in a larger picture. I have never thought about myself as less than in the same room as a man. Maybe my time is coming, but I have always (tried to at least) strive as high as possible regardless if the competition is a male. I also feel like being an African American and the notions associated with being one, is stronger than and in a sense is added to being a woman. I am a woman of color. But that does not stop me. I guess, in a sense, I am like those university Presidents because they had the drive to continue and not stop no matter what just like me.

Hey, you never know. I may end up being a university President some day!